28 November 2017

"You know you can't wear heels on a trek, right?" - Preconceived judgement


"You know you can't wear heels on a trek, right?" - My Duke of Edinburgh assessor the first time she saw me, 2016. 

I always try and live by the rule never judge a book by it's cover. To me this means getting to know someone before making judgements, and not solely basing them on appearance. I think it's important to understand that, while fashion is a way of expression, it in no way tells you everything about a person. From the snide comments about other kids outfit choices at school, to the assumption that I only care about makeup and clothes by my driving instructor, I've come to learn, in my short 19 years of life, that reserving judgement isn't practised by everyone. Personally, I've never really understood preconceived judgement. Why do tattoos seem to equal bad grades, glasses intelligence and short skirts promiscuity? Why do we judge before we know? 

Until recently, I hadn't really given this subject much thought as I never believed it really effected me. But when my auntie said something along the lines of "do you always wear red lipstick?" and gave me a look of what I can only assume was disapproval, it got me thinking to all the times it has happened to me. The one that really stood out, was when I was 16 and just about to start my Duke of Edinburgh bronze award hike. For those of you who don't know, The Duke of Edinburgh award is a programme for young adults and teens, consisting of a number of hours of community service, and a 2-4 day hike depending on which award you're doing. For the hike, a member of the DofE programme would be flown over to judge participation and award the certificate. It just so happened, that our assessor happened to be one of the most judgemental people in the universe (okay maybe that's a little ott, but you get the point). When she met me the day before the hike it was as if all she could see were my high heeled boots and skirt which, granted, would probably not have fared well on a hike, but were fine considering it was a meeting to discuss hiking routes. From that moment she would constantly throw in little mocking comments about my outfit and even at one point likened me to a girl who carried two full bags of makeup (which is also fine, but not me). I distinctly remember sitting at the dinner table and her actually addressing me as 'Alice' (said girl mentioned above) several times. At the time I was surprised that this women who knew nothing about me, and who was supposed to be encouraging me, had judged me so quickly. I even remember questioning whether I was sending out the wrong message with my clothes. Being the young, quiet, 16 year old girl I went home and did nothing about it, but now looking back I realise just how wrong this lady was.     

I find it shocking that a lady who was supposed to inspire me to get outdoors and try new things, managed to do complete opposite due to a silly preconceived judgement. Although I did end up doing the hike, I was constantly aware of what the assessor had said and her ingrained judgement. The only good thing I can say from my experience with preconceived judgement is how, if anything, it's made me stronger and more confident in myself.  I can happily say that my high heeled, short skirt wearing self now knows that my choice of attire doesn't effect or alter me as person, despite what others may say. It doesn't stop me from wondering what life would be like if we lived in a kinder, more open world where there was less preconceived judgement. 

I would also just like to point out that I am obviously not perfect or exempt from judging. I know there have definitely been times when my 'rule' has slipped, these are just some of my thoughts on the subject. I also know that preconceived judgement links strongly with racism, sexism... but this post is mainly to do with fashion. 


What are your experiences with preconceived judgement? I would love to hear your thoughts.


If you enjoyed the post don't forget to follow me on bloglovin' and twitter!
     



26 comments so far

  1. I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with small minded idiots like this haha! You're right you should never judge a book by it's cover. I had a breast enlargement two years ago and I've been massively judged ever since. It's like people look at me like I'm a wannabe Katie Price or something and they couldn't be anymore wrong, I decided to get a breast enlargement for my body confidence for me! Not for the world to see! Great post x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Being confident within your body is so important and It's annoying how some people don't get that! I can imagine you encountered so much judgement over your decision and i'm proud of you for going through with it and knowing what was right for you! I'm glad you enjoyed reading x

      Delete
  2. Ugh! Some people! Sadly I don't think pre-misconceptions are ever going to not be a thing. Society today is so very "face value", I mean look at us content creators and influencers! We are literally judged on imagery every single day! We should definitely spread the word as you are doing, and bring more attention to such issues xxx

    Sally.
    www.sallymorganmoore.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I agree unfortunately they will continue to exist, I guess the only thing we can do is try and make sure we limit our own pre-misconceptions & spread the word! I've never actually thought about it from the point of view of creators and influencers, interesting point! xxx

      Delete
  3. I loved this post and couldn't agree more with what you said. People are always so quick to judge one another. I remember one time when I was waiting to board a plane for a business trip in comfy in flight attire (leggings, a chunky knit and vans) a passenger behind me said "excuse me but this is the priority queue and I am a priority flyer. You need to stand in the economy line" I was shocked at first but instead of being offended I just stated that I too was a priority flyer and indeed in the right queue. I then proceeded to board the plane before him. Best feeling ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's awful! I don't understand the idea of putting others down just to feel some kind of superiority. Well done for keeping cool, he was probably so irritated aha.

      Delete
  4. There are so many judgemental people out there. Just because you wear non hiking clothes when not hiking doesn’t mean you’re not a hiker.

    Kelly
    http://www.thiswayandthatway.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is all so true! I try really hard not to judge before I know someone but I feel that we're all guilty of this to a certain degree! x

    http://isthisseattaken.net

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I totally agree! I guess i'm just trying hard not to do it so much x

      Delete
  6. Hi there! First of all thanks for your message in my latest blog post.

    It's great to see that there are still bloggers like you focused on providing good reading content and most of all an important message behind the words. Actually this topic has resonated in my head for several days cause it seems that nowadays the first impression is the one that counts and that's not right (especially with Instagram and all the social media). I do not think it's fair to judge people just by their clothes or make up, that's just a package and there's everything in life: people who have very good style but inside is a poop and vice versa. In the end we are too complex to live with a single label.

    Pablo
    Hey Fungi Blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ahh I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this post and I loved hearing your thoughts on the subject! I hadn't actually thought of this in relation to social media, but I totally agree with you. Social media really highlights and actually adds to this problem massively, as it focuses only on exterior beauty/looks.

      Delete
  7. Wow this entire post hits all the points! I agree that people judge so much and from personal experience, they'll never be happy with whatever you do. I used to not care about fashion when I was in college and undergrad. We had school uniforms before that and I rarely go out. So I wore t-shirts, sport shoes, jeans and a backpack whenever I go to college or uni. For years, people immediately said that I'm a nerd and commented that I am a girl so I need to learn how to dress up. They'd even go as far as calling me an old lady for dressing poorly. Fast forward several years, I got interested in fashion, read blogs, magazines, watched YouTube and learned to dress up and even do my own makeup. Some people then called me high maintenance, such a girly girl for always dressing up and not being sporty or casual enough or commenting that girls like me who take a long time to get ready are shallow minded because all we care about are our looks. Even now, when I dressed up better to do research in a lab, my supervisor tells me that my life should be only about my project and nothing else. People comment that I have such luxury and so much time to dress up so it must mean I don't work hard enough. Sometimes it makes me wonder, because trying to please everyone, I made myself more unhappy but being judged because I'm not dressed well or dressed too well, how does that even inspire anyone?! Worse still, most that made those comments are other women. I do wish that everyone would treat others with more kindness and compassion, this world would be a better place and less people would become depressed and have social anxiety. Hopefully, it'll help make me stronger going through all that. But for anyone who is being judged by others, I have to say, you do you! They are not you and what they say don't matter. Just rock your own brand of confidence!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really enjoyed reading about your own experiences with preconceived judgement! It annoys me that you've had to deal with such small-minded people, but i'm glad that you haven't let it sway your confidence and has instead taught you to be more confident. I totally agree that you can't please everyone.

      Delete
  8. so true. People like to judge before they get to know. All you have to do is ignore them and do what makes you happy.
    The Glossychic /Wonder Cottage

    ReplyDelete
  9. So so so true dear!! Love this post! Have a lovely day
    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POSTS: HOUNDSTOOTH COAT & CHIC DETAILS

    ReplyDelete
  10. I’m glad that you didn’t let her ignorance affect you! People who judge based off looks usually don’t turn mirrors to themselves very often. It’s quite sad. Confidence is key! Great and inspiring post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's so true! glad you enjoyed it!

      Delete
  11. This is so true. People love to judge other people without ever getting to know them. I'm so glad to hear that you didn't let this experience change you and that you continue to dress the way that you feel most comfortable and confident!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aw thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

      Delete
  12. hahahaha oh people, arent they just a hoot sometimes!!? i totally get that judging people is a natural human reaction (one im trying very hard to stop doing myself tho) but at least keep it internal if youre going to do it at all. i really wish youd worn your high heeled boots and strutted all over that hike in them!!!

    katie. xx lacoconoire.com ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I know, people are just too funny sometimes!? ahh I wish, that would've been hilarious to see her reaction!! xx

      Delete
  13. You'd think by now people would think twice before judging and making misconceptions about someone but unfortunately not.. so sorry for you had to experience this!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm glad that you didn't let this woman walk all over you and destroy your confidence!

    ReplyDelete

Meera's Blog © . Design by FCD.